Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
