The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Randomize
