Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Randomize
