I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
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