Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Randomize