He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
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