Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Randomize
