My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
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