so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
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