FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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