i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
