This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
she peed on how many people?
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
FUCK WHALES
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Drunk is a universal language darling
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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