I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Randomize
