she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
We have started to decorate penises.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
