How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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