i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
nutella sex= disaster
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Randomize
