Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
