Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
