So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
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