Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
home. puking in laundry basket.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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