Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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