Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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