I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize