I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
