69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Randomize
