I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
