8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
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