U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
