If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
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