You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Randomize
