and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
