I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
