i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
