Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
