is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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