Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
