Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize
