as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
