I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize
