i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
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