Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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