so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Randomize
