I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
