Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
ttyl tear gas
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
