went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize
