i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
