these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
