He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
