i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
