We got so high we made milksteak
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
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