She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
We have so much sex to catch up on
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Randomize
