lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Randomize
