i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
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