Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Randomize
