I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
