He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Randomize
