Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize
