so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
