Christians are straight up FREAKS
i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Randomize
