I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Randomize
