He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Randomize