No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
