i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
